Frigging in the Rigging

Everything was going just fine. The seagulls circled, there was a beautiful sunset, and the waves were breaking against the shore:Then this happened:Oh no! Those poor fishermen or whatever! Close up:'Twas an ugly day at sea.
(An ugly 11 1/2" x 13 1/2" day.)

Stick Your Head Between Your Legs...

...and Kiss Your Ass Goodbye is the title of my latest work. This is how I found it:

This is what I did to it:

Here's a close up:

You can see that it's a very weird shape. It's 7x9" and it sticks an inch and a quarter off the wall. The canvas wraps around the bizarre little frame in an intriguing-slash-pretentious way. I decided to not get too technical with the perspective because I could never pull that off. I think it turned out well. Not well for those poor folks... but you know what I mean.

Return of the Yeti

Here's my latest painting, completed last night. Before:

After:

You know you want more Yetis. Close up:


Right before I started working on it, I realized that what he's walking on probably isn't a road. I had thought it was, but upon further contemplation I realized it was probably water. I then made the executive decision that it was frozen water, and therefore stable enough to support a big dumb yeti heading out to run some errands.

As a bonus, here is a free sewing tip: I can't ever get those stupid blue pencils to write on my fabric. The best one I have is a "dressmaker's" pencil, whatever that means, but the other ones never work. So the other night while working on a project for a friend, in frantic desperation I licked the point of one of the pencils before holding it to my fabric. Huzzah! It traced a perfect line right where I needed it.

If it's not going to write on the fabric unless you lick it, why don't they print that shit on the packaging? Is this something that everyone in the world knows except for me?? Probably. Anyway, I was so pleased with my discovery that I wanted to share it. Go forth and write on your fabric with abandon, grasshoppers.

Baby Hats

A friend of mine just recently had a baby. Well, he didn't have it, his woman did. But he saw a photo of my Baby Valkyrie hat and requested one for his offspring. Being that he and the baby are black, I offered to make black pigtails instead of the usual blonde:This is not his child. This is a baby skeleton I got at Joann Crafts one Halloween, and I freaking love it.

His other request was a Jamaican-style dread basket with attached fake dreads. I came up with this:The skeleton's head way stretches out the hat. On the baby it will poof out more. At least I hope it will. I have demanded photos of his kid in these hats. They are 100% acrylic, but with the fake hair attached I recommended hand-washing. But spit-up or spewed carrots and peas should easily wipe clean. Or just blend in.

I plan to use this pattern again. I think it would make a cute bonnet if done in a solid color, or would make a good wee Scottish tam if done in a kilt color combo. Of course I would leave off the dreadlocks in those cases. Maybe.

Two New Paintings

The camera is back from SXSW, it's unloaded, recharged and ready to accept my deranged "artwork" again.

Here's the first victim:Nice little snowscape, boring and a little eerie, I think. Here's what happened:Oh no! Some dumbass skidded off the road into the lake! Here's a close up:I really dig that frame.

The second one looks like someone was doing shrooms when they painted it - good shrooms:I decided that if I was a unicorn, this is where I would want to die.

Ahhh... eternal rest by a purple lake. How fitting. Close up:

The Jesus/Bigfoot/Nessie painting actually sold, if you can believe that. Big thanks to the man that bought it, whomever he may be. All but these last two (and the one that sold) are hanging in a shop called Victory Vintage in Decatur, GA. Big BIG thanks to Lee for taking a chance on me. I hope I do you proud.

Nice Day For A Swim

Here's the other painting I worked on this week. I bought this at a thrift store SO AWESOME that I'm not telling anyone about it. It was either $2.98 or $3.98 - there were two different prices on the back - but I bought a mountain of crap and my total was $12, so I'm not complaining. I found it like this:
I'm not sure why the artist decided to mask off a section in the middle to paint. The landscape sometimes reaches out past the border and sometimes doesn't. This painting is confusing. Also, you can't really tell from this shot how dirty it was. There were smudges and spots all over it and there was water damage on the bottom. I finally resorted to mixing up an ivory color and washing over the whole outer edge to try to clean it up.

Then I added this:
I really hope that looks like a human, because sometimes I think it looks like someone murdered one of those articulated wooden dolls you use in illustration class. Subtle shading with acrylic is hard, and I've never had the patience for oils, so there you have it. Close up:

And, boy, am I glad I didn't use that other frame! I found this one at Goodwill last night for $3:
How rad is that? Turns out it's some kind of resin, not wood, so it was tough getting the painting to stay in there. But I think it was worth it.

I'm going to be busy with the two other paintings I got last night, but the husband is taking our camera to Texas for vacation so it might be quiet around here until he gets back. Also, I wonder how long it will take for me to max out the photo allotment on blogger.

See you in ten days!

Van Goghzilla

This week I have done two new paintings, but I will only show this one for now because the other one isn't framed yet.

I bought this at the Salvation Army for $1.99: I suspect someone had a coupla beers and thought they were Van Gogh. But they were not proud enough of their efforts to actually sign their name to it, and eventually gave it to charity. So here's what I did to it:It did not come with a frame, and since all my other ones are framed, I went to Hobby Lobby to search for something appropriate. People, frames are expensive. I don't think I ever knew how expensive they are. The cheapest one I could find was $14.99 and it was basically four mitered pine boards nailed together. Complete with random knots. And the top board was warped, which I didn't notice until I brought it home. But I gave it one coat of white paint to simulate a Frenchy-shabby-chic look to go with the Van Goghness of the original painting, and I think it turned out okay:Here's a close up of the Godzilla:So the starting price for this bitch is $16.98 to recoup my expenses. I need to learn how to use the circular saw, because clearly I am in the wrong business.