Thursday, March 15, 2018

Still Cutting

I like to invest in the wafer thin dies that I know I will use over and over again, and of course that means they must hold potential for ass-clownery. I liked the looks of the fortune cookie die from Ellen Hutson. Here's what I've done with it:

Still working that address stamper I found at the walmarks. It is the besssst. And you can't really tell in that shot but I accented the tear with a shimmer pen. So touching.

Jennifer McGuire is the ne plus ultra of card makers. In one of her videos she shows an example of a card she turned into a pull-tab by slicing and dicing wherever she wants because she is a magician. She inspired me to put a pull-tab in behind this tree:

I've always joked that I'm amassing all the crafting skills for the day I finally Voltron all of them into a single project. Card making might be that project. Cards are basically smaller, faster mixed media projects, and I'm having a blast. I can't stop!

Yesterday I had to use a stock photo of the Spellbinders Platinum6 die cutter because I couldn't find the picture I took of my own. I reshot it last night, and here it is!

So we need to talk about these cats:

The artist is Hillzart and you can find her on etsy and instagram. I met her at Craftlake City 2017 and bought a pile of stuff from her, including this plaque hanging on the inside of my front door:

It is a helpful reminder that no matter how reassuring the creatures around you seem to be, you're still going to end up decapitated with your severed hand frozen in the thumbs-up position for all eternity.

Sweet dreams!

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Die Cutting the N.U.T.S.A.C. Way

I watch entirely too many card making videos. And those folks love them some die cutting. I resisted! I said to myself, "Self? You don't need another damn tool." And I was right. So I fought! I stood firm! But ultimately my desperate need of new outlets for ass-clownery was too great, and I caved. Standing in the papercraft aisle of a really huge Michael's, I dialed up Amazon on my phone for price comparisons and reviews. Michael's must have heard of Amazon before, because their prices exactly matched! So I bought the Spellbinders Platinum 6:

As I mentioned previously, it's a medium-sized die cutter, but it's big enough for my needs. So I bought it along with some standard die cutting shapes -- a set each of circles, rectangles and stars. I might have also got a "Thanks" die at that time, I can't remember. But that was enough to get me started. I have since added more sentiment sets, a few more shapes, a couple alphabets, and a set of frame borders. I only buy the dies that I know I can use over and over again. And I haven't gotten too much into the embossing folders because it doesn't hold much interest for me. But I like die cutting.

Once again I am sad that I can't show the birthday stuff! But here's some other cards I have made

I also love, love heat embossing. Guys, I just have to take a second to acknowledge that it is drizzling here in SLC, and everyone is FREAKING OUT. One coworker said, "Oh! It's raining really hard out there..." I said, "Really?" and went to the window. Guys, the SIDEWALK IS STILL DRY. HAHAHAAHHA!! During any given seven day period in Atlanta, it will rain at least twice. Guaranteed. These people would not survive. I am laughing super hard at them.


This is where the die cutter really shines for me because my handwriting is ABYSMAL.

I admire how savage those two little girls are. They are not fucking around.

You knew black metal was imminent. Okay, I'm going to wrap this up so I can go laugh at the desert people some more. But please believe their driving is not funny at all. They can't drive when it's dry, Dark Lord help us all when it's "raining really hard." *SHUDDER* Please keep me in your thoughts during my commute home. :(

Friday, March 9, 2018

Shitty Picnic and One Card

"Shitty Picnic" is a specialty of mine, comprised of only the finest ingredients I currently have in my refrigerator when the Cowboy randomly stops by between shifts. Tonight we have cheese curds, a green apple, white mushrooms, red seedless grapes, and Laughing Dog Brewery cream ales. I wish I had remembered the good crackers in the cabinet, but that's the magic of Shitty Picnic! You just never know how shitty each one will be. Hooray!

As far as crafting, last night I only managed one card. But it took all my energy and I'm kind of proud of it:

One day soon I need to do a full report on my die cutting/embossing machine. I have the Spellbinders PLATINUM6. It's small, but it's enough for my purposes and I dig it.

Also I need to talk about how excellent embossing powders are. I'll do that once I get caught up on the backlog.

For now, I have to get another cream ale and make stuff. Peace out.

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Leatha Update: Part One

Lest I lose the title of Shittiest Vegetarian Ever, it's high time for a leather update!

Factory Job is grueling to the soul and the hands. Word got out that I "make stuff," so one lady asked if I could please make her some finger guards so she would quit stabbing herself. I have lots of scrap leather lying around, so I came up with this:

That guy's adorableness broke the floodgates and the requests started pouring in. Some wanted the whole finger covered, and some wanted to be able to still use their fingertips:

One lady requested horses:

And I asked her to pose for an Action Shot:

But out of all the finger guards, I think this guy is my favorite:

How dope is he?? Everyone announced that they also wanted sharks and I announced that was too damn bad because 1) they already had their requests in, and 2) I was out of shiny silver scrap leather. Sit the hell down.

I've done several other leather projects, enough for a Part Two and possibly a Part Three. In related news, my Tandy Gold Membership expired, and when I renewed they upped me to Elite! That's right Salt Lake, I am Very Important. Look upon me, and BE DISMAYED. #shittyvegetarian

Friday, March 2, 2018

Still With The Leftovers

...because I can't talk about what I'm working on NOW because it's all for BIRTHDAYS which is really ANNOYING. So here's some more stuff I've piled up.

The Cowboy collected this big piece of rusted metal for me during our road trip to Seattle:

[Excellent cropping.] The base is a weird flat wooden thing with its own frame attached. I tore out the fabric that was glued to the center, sanded and painted the background, then attached the metal using self-leveling pouring medium. I wasn't sure it would hold because the metal is heavy, but so far so good. I also made a little neck support out of clay that I wedged under the metal.

While I was in a leafing mood, I decoupaged this photo to a thin little wooden plaque, then gold leafed the edges:

Found some stacks of meat, decoupaged them to a mini canvas:

Made a fabulous card for the BFF and used it as an excuse to practice using silver embossing powder:

Boy is that some sloppy garbage. I promise I have improved. Even though I can't TALK ABOUT IT because BIRTHDAYS. >:( This next one is from a past birthday:

Also I bought a die cutter which has come in very, very handy. More on that later.

Here's another early die cutting and embossing experiment, along with some washi tape and shitty ink blending:

The BFF is so lucky to have me.

And last but never least, since I'm bitching about another grueling birthday season, KC/DC sent me this for my birthday last year:

HOORAY KING! He has a permanent home on my fridge, thanks to two of the Gorgoroth buttons that I glued magnets to the back of. I also have Horna, G.B.H and some Hellraiser. Thanks again, E-6000!

Back to the mountain of birthday projects...

Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Xmas 2017 AKA This Is What Happens When I Don't Post For A Year

The first Xmas at the Underground Bunker was a magical time! It is rather "cozy" in there, but luckily I found a pre-lit 4' tree at Michael's that perfectly wedges between the mantel/shelf/thing and the low ceiling. I usually stick to my hard and fast rule that nothing Xmas goes up until after Thanksgiving. But I wanted to make sure I would have time to return the tree if the lights didn't work, so my Xmas decorating overlapped with my annual Hellraiser marathon:

I can't remember if I found this guy at Michael's or Target. I think maybe Target:

Okay, I might have modified him a bit...and he became my tree topper! So cute. Special thanks to Ex-BIL Mike for gifting me some pentagrams he printed off a 3-D printer. Hail Satan! Hooray!

During a particularly successful Craft Night a few years ago, one of the ladies said to me, "I have a bunch of bones in the back of my car. Do you want them?" Um, yes. Yes I do. I hung onto them forever, and this past Xmas I decided it was time to cover them in silver leaf and wire them up as ornaments. Unfortunately I guess I misplaced the close up shot I took. So here they are on the tree:

They look much better and shinier in person. I'll try to take a better pic this year. I also got one of those tubes of plain white balls (that's what she said) and improved them with a Sharpie:

That's leftover silver leaf on my hands. It's messy, y'all.

While I had the silver leaf stuck all over my body, I decided to alter a skull given to me by my Surrogate Mom. She had covered the skull with beads, but I thought it should be solid silver like a helmet, so I leafed over the beads:

I'm still debating whether I want to do a black wash over it, or add another layer of leaf, or leave it alone. I go back and forth.

N.U.T.S.A.C. Brother Cody received an Officially Sanctioned Nana for Xmas:

He immediately saluted her and asked her for guidance:

I made this for a coworker, and he sent over this photo of his lovely tree:

I think that about wraps it up. Anything to add, Julia?

I guess not. Merry Xmas, Every One!

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Widowna Spyder And Other News

Compared to Hotlanta, Utah has zero bugs. It is awesome! But the Basement Bunker does get random ants during the "warm" periods when the temp gets over like 35 degrees. The latest Bunker issue is flying ants. For the record, I don't care for them. So I did not question why they disappeared. One day I looked under my bathroom sink:

Behold Widowna Spyder, the black widow! I named her after the Cowboy's Hollywood girlfriend so he won't kill her. He is a little uncomfortable, mostly with the fact that she's been there for two weeks and I only mentioned it last night. Keep eating those flying ants, girlfriend! And please don't give birth to a million babies. Thanks.

Continuing to sort through the rubble, let's see what randomness is lurking around...

I bought this cow skull on our trip to Moab, then covered it in chalkboard paint:

These were my xmas cards:

A little fold-out stand on the back allows it to perch on your shelf for eternity so you never ever have reason to throw it away. [Incidentally, Utah's shape is really useful for crafting.]

There's a dairy here that produces some terrible shit called Rootbeer Milk. It tastes just like those tiny rootbeer hard candies, but only for 1.5 seconds, and then the weird chemical taste kicks in. The Cowboy looovves it. Here's how I feel about it:

I cross stitched the t-rex pattern from the Greatest Cross Stitch Book Ever Written, Makato's Cross-Stitch Super Collection, using glow-in-the-dark floss which looks very impressive when you hold it directly on a lightbulb for like 2 whole minutes:

I hung on to it, and then when I moved here I kept seeing billboards for Utahraptor, so I knew what had to be done:

Do not credit Makato for that masterful lettering. That's all me.

And last but not least, here's N.U.T.S.A.C. Brother Cody running a Car Cookies clinic last summer in the parking lot:

His car smelled delicious for the rest of the week. Line forms to the left, ladies! You know you love a man that can bake. *SWOON*