Friday, February 22, 2013

Stress Relief

Every year my company hands out squeezy stress ball things shaped like bizarre stuff that makes no sense. Every year this is what we do to them:


We turned some of the M&M things into Fight Club, and I guess we lost most of the hard hats. One of the other operators sliced an M&M thing in half and hung the face on the bulletin board. I decided he was onto something, but I wanted to take things a step further, so I took one example of each home with me and went to work.


Google helped me with the fake Latin names.

Top left: ANTHROPOS CROCUS GLABRA might mean "man, yellow, hairless."

Top right: ANTHROPOS NANOS HIRSUTUS "man, tiny, hairy." (Intact, he shrieks "THANK YOU!!" a million times when squeezed. This trophy no longer has that option.) (Also there's an amusing story regarding another department "accidentally misplacing" all of the little voice chips. Tee hee.)

Bottom left: OVUM RES CROCUS DORSUM "egg thing, yellow, backside." (This is the back end of one of the M&M things to which my coworker added some dungarees and an ass crack.)

Bottom right: ASTRON CROCUS OPS "star, yellow, face."

Those wooden plaques came in a pack of four for like $1 at Michael's or somewhere, and I've had them forever. I slapped one coat of wood stain on them, used E6000 to attach the trophies, and hammered out the plaques. Then I screwed some eyehooks into the top and hung them on the wall over the bulletin board:

My boss still hasn't noticed.

And then a friend of mine put out a call for crafts to sell in a school fundraiser. I made this to donate:

I'm sure it will bring millions of dollars.

Gaby's birthday is this weekend and I've made a whole pile of crap for her, but I can't show it yet! So exciting! I'll be back later with all that junk. Also, I've been given a whole pile of inspirational words from the BFF which will be commemorated with many wonderful projects. This is shaping up to be a busy year. Hooray!

Update: I found out from my friend that she had to name the painting for the auction, and she named it "U.F.Uh-oh." I love it!

Friday, February 15, 2013

Valentine's Day!

Look at the beautiful surprise Valentine I got in the mail from Pattidee:

I love it!! Thank you!! So...they make Elvis rubber stamps? I will have to look into this.

The ladies and I had a successful evening of Pornentines last night! Of course I cannot post the photos. Please believe they are filthy. Hooray!

In other news, I have finished another batch of Dragon*Con survival patches. Oops, one is kind of NSFW -- let me go censor that right quick...

That's better. So the one on the left represents the self-indulgent weirdness we witnessed with the werewolf group. Top right is for my bro and his buddy who, due to over-packed elevators, regularly had to climb 22 flights of stairs to get to their hotel room. They're young! It's good for them! (We hopefully will not have the same problem this year.) And the third is for surviving four days of PB with no J sandwiches. Dragon*Con is a marathon wrapped in a Death March wrapped in a frat house. It is not for the weak!! LONG LIVE THE CON!!

Let's see, what else have I been doing...I made a 2 disc black metal compilation for a friend of mine consisting of all Finnish bands. Of course I had to create appropriately bleak packaging, which I constructed out of poster board spray painted with my beloved Krylon black primer. Then I used a white Prismacolor pencil to draw a fake K-Tel cover, the shape of Finland, Shatraug, and the grim forest from the cover of the Horna album "Hiidentorni."


We had an old can of spray fixative, like really old, that I sprayed over the whole thing to keep it from rubbing off. I took a big chance with that stuff, and it did come out kind of blotchy, but I think it adds to the grymness of the whole thing.

However, it will not stay closed, so I added an elastic ribbon that came on a box of totally awesome chocolates from my friend's company, go buy some now:


Awwww. How cute! I'm not trying to brag or nothin', but this compilation kicks so much ass that it blew out a lightbulb in the ceiling fan of our den while I was listening to it. Finland FTW.

Being a huge fan of Shatraug and all the projects he's involved in, I spilled over with exuberant glee following the Horna show last year. To which the BFF offered this response:

So touching.... If you'll excuse me, I have something in my eye!! *sniff*

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Rick Rolling: Still Funny

The final part of my brother's Xmas present, this bookmark, was supposed to be a prank on him.


Sadly, it became a prank on me because every time I picked it up to work on it, that damn song stuck in my head again. So much for that. YOU WIN THIS ROUND, ASTLEY.

Here's the backing fabric, plus my nifty new labels from Charm Woven Labels since I burned through all the old ones:


Yeah, I know these photos are dark, house is a cave, too lazy to fix, etc.

At some point I acquired a Mardi Gras necklace consisting of huge shiny babies and a flashing box that read "HAPPY MARDI GRAS." I harvested the babies (I'm sure I'll use them for something) which left the weird box. I used a combination of rubbing alcohol and elbow grease to attempt to get the letters off, but in the end I had to resort to sandpaper. Who knew they invested in such quality lettering? Then I added my own sentiment with some Sharpies and spray varnish, and hit the button on the back:


UNLEASH THE BEAST AND LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!! I added an adhesive pinback so my brother can easily wear it to work or important meetings.


Then I wrapped it up in the Tiffany box I've been saving (Was it even mine? Who knows.) for just such a special occasion.


Merry Xmas, Brah!

Also I decided to saw my Catgirl Halle Berry doll in half with the dremel:


Stay tuned for further updates on that.

In closing, here is a video of me and the flashing box enjoying some Tsjuder:

Good times.