Saturday, July 17, 2010

Teen Idol Fever

So my 8-year-old niece is totally obsessed with the Jonas Brothers. Or at least she was last Xmas, who knows what she's moved onto in the last 7 months. She's pretty fickle. Anyhoo, I found this little box in the thrift store:

Then I went to the store and purchased BOP! magazine. When I used to get BOP! it was filled with Duran Duran, Adam Ant, Madonna, all the 80s staples. Now it's absolutely jam packed with children. And surveys. "Which tarted up 10-year-old TV Star are you??????" "Which of the 17 Jonas Brothers will you marry?????" "EAT PIZZA?? WHICH PIZZA???" "THE JONAS BROTHERS LOVE PIZZA!!!!" Every single page is migraine-inducing. God I'm old.

In the name of crafting I put on my sunglasses, unlocked my jaw, and soldiered through, ferreting out the Jonii and clipping them free from their neon hell. I spray painted the box gold, let it dry, and decoupaged the lads to the box. After some spray varnish I decided the Jonii looked lonely and scared without all that bright loud shit closing in on them, so I glued some Bedazzler gems on -- because what 8-year-old girl doesn't like sparkle??? -- and then made it worse with squiggles and hearts from a Sharpie. I hammered in some gold studs from the Bedazzler as tiny feet for the box, and here it is in all its hideous glory:

Don't ask me to name them because I have no idea. But I did learn that those "in the know" call them "the Jo Bros!"

I figure "Jo Bro" is the singular form. I'm probably wrong. Top:

And bottom:

See? I told you -- they LOVE PIZZA!! OH MY GOD THEY LOVE IT SO MUCH. The good news is that Sierra loved the box, but I gave her the decimated carcass of BOP! and I think she loved that more. And then I got the okay from her mom to get her a subscription, and apparently she loves that MORE. More than THE JONAS BROTHERS LOVE PIZZA EVEN?? WAIT UNTIL NEXT ISSUE TO FIND OUT!!!

I need a drink.

KISS vs the Craftenstein in the Park

I was asked to paint Paul Stanley as a zombie, with the only stipulation being "lots of chest hair." Don't be crazy - it wouldn't be Paul Stanley without a ton of chest hair!

You'll note that the undead transformation has not affected his fashion sense. Who could say no to this face?

This is one of the rare times that I actually went out and bought a blank canvas panel instead of altering an existing painting. The canvas panel in the frame was so old and moldy and warped that it wasn't worth saving, but the frame was fine, so I used it for this project and started from scratch.

If Gene Simmons is reading this, he can rest assured I am giving this as a gift and am not selling it for profit. Please don't sue me. Also I am broke so just forget it. Thanks.