Xmas Can Go Away Now

My Romanian hairdresser likes to pretend her homeland isn't crawling with werewolves and draculas. She even pretended she didn't know the word "werewolf" and asked, "Vat is this?" when I said it. PLEASE. Do not insult my intelligence, lady. We know ALL ABOUT ROMANIA.

To prove to her that I'm wise to the charade, I made her this cross stitch for Xmas:

Of course the vampire, werewolf and bat patterns came from Makato's Cross Stitch Super Collection! I googled the flag, and thankfully Wikipedia got it right. Or she's lying to spare my feelings.

These next presents are in the mail, and I don't think I'm taking any real chance posting them early. They are for the BFF's sons. One is into Frankenstein, so I made him this scratch art:

The other son is getting this intestine mirror:

It used to just be pink with the word "Princess" on it. Disgusting. I left the mirror out for the photo because I didn't feel like being in it. That would have been even more disgusting.

I'll post the other stuff once it's been delivered. Only four more days...ugh.

Last Minute Chrismukkah Gift?

Amazingly, almost all of my terrible "art" sold at the benefit. Huzzah! I gave a few things away at the end because I did not want that garbage coming back into my house. But the rest sold for actual American dollars!

This one thing had to come home with me. Several people told me "I want this so bad...but I have kids." Take note, folks: once you have kids, casual everyday pornography goes out the window. Or so I've been told.

Here is my tray depicting the dangers of eating undercooked shellfish:

Size 16x22"

What an amazing Chrismukkah gift this would be! If anyone wants this, let me know in the comments. (Locals only please.) I'm hoping for about $25, and I'm still going to give the money to savestopperdave.com. Make me an offer! Overpay because it's for charity! And make someone's Chrismukkah dream come true.

Hurry - only 9 shopping days until Xmas!!