Bestowed Gifts

Have I bitched about March/April? About how 90% of my friends and 100% of my husbands have birthdays within a 6 week period? I work my fingers to the bone for these jerks.

Anyway now that the High Holy Day of The Miracle of the BFF's Birth has passed, I can reveal his gift. We sometimes have entire conversations using only Dead Milkmen lyrics, and I commemorated this achievement with the following folksy cross stitch:

That's not all the BFF received, and it was totally out-classed by the patriotic taxidermy cane toad holding a rifle and American flag that I got on Ebay. I cried a little when I had to hand that over.

For yet another friend's birthday, I once again turned to the seminal Makoto's Cross Stitch Super Collection for the Walther pattern, and then slapped on some lettering:

Please note that all of today's photographs include a special appearance by my thumb. I'm left handed. Can anyone explain to me why I can only work the camera on my phone with my right hand? My left hand just flings the phone to the floor. Anyway,

KC/DC's birthday also falls in this same window of time. Doesn't anyone care about my needs?? She plays guitar and loves Sriracha, so I knew what had to be done:

I don't even know how long I've had that hologram paper. Decades at least. Hooray for supply hoarding!!

The last item today is not a birthday gift, but rather a recognition of a job well done. Agent Chili Bowl continually churns out exemplary work, most notably by extending the C.Q. Initiative way past its planned expiration date. N.U.T.S.A.C. recognizes his dedication to excellence with this fine plaque:

May he continue to be a shining beacon for ass clownery all of his days.

Quick reminder: The 30% off sale on post-show Leftover Sharts that need a "forever home" ends on 6/1, so if you want some of that action, click here! --> drcraftenstein.com I will be adding several new items to the shop directly after the sale, so check back!

OMG SO FAMOUS: N.U.T.S.A.C. Field Report

I actually survived this Featured Friday Artist event at dooGALLERY. I've never done anything like this before and was seriously trying not to throw up or cry in the car beforehand (sober as a judge, mind you), trying to breathe, stricken mute with terror, while my poor long-suffering husband steered the car and tried to reassure me that I wouldn't die. Try as he might, I did not believe him.

After we arrived and I got set up, I pretty much had to shut my brain off and go limp for the first hour. Luckily KC/DC's band Moreland Wrecks had signed on to play this thing, so to retain my sanity I just pretended I was hanging out at her gig. Here's a shot of them warming up:

Someone asked if that eagle was mine, and to that I say 1) I WISH, and 2) they are lucky I did not steal it.

Two of my Shartworks are hanging behind the band BOTH OF WHICH SOLD, SQUEEEEEEE: "Wolf" to the left and "Wasp Woman" to the right. The rest were variously displayed around the room like so:

Please note the tempting array of hors d'oeuvres. Proceeding around the room in order:

"Goldburger" has a little ribbon on the tag to indicate it will be raffled off. It was! To the same woman that purchased the wolf!

And then I had this table for the mini-sharts, the two ceramics, coloring books (free crayons with purchase!), complimentary matches and business cards.

I had all the shrouds on another table ready to go with their respective pieces. This is what they looked like at home leaning against the World's Biggest Television:

I went ahead and stayed limp until my metalhead posse arrived to stand around me in a protective circle as they had been instructed. Bless all of them. My display of lovely ladies:

And the beautiful wee lady at the far far right is the co-artist at this event, Dreama Dominick. Her work can be found on her facebook page: Dreama Dominick Art Works. Here's a sample:

I like the idea of a dual show. But I wish they had paired Dreama with a civilized human being instead of the Assclownery Ahoy bullshit she was forced to endure from my half of the room. Savages, every single one! I broached this subject at the very beginning and was told they like to "mix it up." Well, Mission Accomplished!

But Dreama was lovely and super game about the whole thing, sailing along with the SS NUTSAC to the very end! May her next show be worthy of her and her talent, and not hijacked by fucking pirates. Yo Ho!

Out of all this chaos, the most shocking aspect is HOW MUCH STUFF SOLD. OMG. "Goldburger" of course was raffled. But they bought "Wolf," "Wasp Woman," "I Just Work Here," "He Is Coming Again" (by the BFF whose house is already filled to the brim with my garbage -- I tried to talk him out of it), "Inner Ring, Seventh Circle," both the ceramic girls, four coloring books, and I literally came home with only one mini. D: Flabbergasted doesn't even cover it. I am touched and shocked and honored.

SO: To celebrate my new massive fame, all the pieces that came back with me are on sale at drcraftenstein.com for 30% off until May 31! (I put May 30 on the website but I think I forgot there are 31 days in May. So you get a whole extra day!!!) All you have to do is type discount code REMAINS in the box during checkout! YAY!! BUT HURRY MOTHER'S DAY IS TOMORROW ZOMG!!

Thank you to everyone that came out! Thanks to dooGALLERY for tolerating us! And I will close out with a photo of my First Official Patched-In Member of N.A.D.S.:

BE AFRAID!!

*** END FIELD REPORT ***