Office Luchador

My coworker knows that I knit, and he accidentally found some bizarre photos and sent them over to me with the comment "Can you make some of these? Please?" I told him I had been looking for a pattern for those for about a year with no luck. About five minutes later he called me and said, "I don't know what a knitting pattern looks like, but I think I found one." Indeed he had. If you are not familiar with these, you're in for a treat. Check it out:

Armed Robbery for the Holidays

His favorite was the red boy's balaclava, so I took that pattern and combined it with the adult man's balaclava pattern so it would fit his head. He's quite pleased with the result:
Apparently he's so pleased that he's fallen asleep. And we're very pleased that we have our very own office luchador. Orale!

Wheels on Fire, Burnin' Down the Road

This is the sister painting to the lakescape painting below. They were done by the same gentleman in 1968. I know this because he helpfully filled out the label on the back of the board.

Before:After:
Close up:

In other news, I have finished the brown stash sweater, and one other thing that I think you'll enjoy. I'll post those soon.

Craft Pile-up

We've had numerous technical difficulties at home lately, but crafting stops for no man. So I'm back in action, and I have a whole pile of crafts to share.

Let me begin by saying that Ready Made magazine has exactly one more subscription cycle to impress me. And they only have that because a friend renewed it for me as a gift. But there's usually one tip I can use (and afford) in each issue, and this month it's the one where they used chicken wire and housepaint to "update" a skirt. I don't have chicken wire, but I do have some left-over strips of that rubber mat stuff that you put under throw rugs. So I took a cherry-print blazer that I've never really looked good in (I'm not really a cherry-print person), a rubber stamp of a house fly and a rubber stamp of a 50's style family, some acrylic Mars Black paint, and went at the blazer in this manner:Now it looks like it's been run over by a car. But that's fine. I like it better this way.

On to knitting! If you knit or crochet, you're familiar with the Stash. For civilians, the Stash is the leftover pile of one-skeins you have after you complete projects. Yarn costs money, so you're hard-pressed to throw it out, and plus you might be able to use it for embroidery or small projects later. It piles up and piles up until your husband starts wondering why the closet door won't close, or why his stuff's being tossed out to make room for more yarn. That's when a Stash-busting project comes in handy.

Here's what I did with my green Stash:I used the pattern in Interweave Knits Spring 2004, p. 92 for the "Striped Angora Raglan," the same pattern I used for the Ugliest Sweater Ever, the Housefly Sweater, and the "Object that Shall Not Be Named" Sweater, AKA the Easiest Sweater Pattern In The World. And I used all leftover worsted weight acrylic. I just used each ball until it ran out, then picked a new one. I tossed in some orange because I just really dig that orange. Oh, and I embroidered a skull on the bottom because that's how I roll. I've already started a sweater using my brown Stash.

If you do something like this, you definitely want to use yarn that's identical except for the color, because otherwise your gauge will be all over the place and you won't be able to clean it properly. (Unless that's what you're going for, in which case knock yourself out!) With 100% "Cheap'n'Shitty" acrylic, this baby goes right in the washer and dryer with no problems. Except when it gets attacked by the velcro that is seemingly ALL OVER my husband's clothing. (Note the fuzzy bits around the collar and left sleeve where I wrestled some pants free.)

Next up: I have done another painting. I really hoped I had taken a before photo of this painting. Of course I did not. So you're going to have to use your imagination.All I did was add the planets to the sky and the reflection in the water. Here's a close up of the planets: I think it turned out pretty good. With the frame it's about 16"x12". I'm just calling it "Lakescape."

The last item here is the fulfillment of a lifelong dream. Okay, maybe not, but I sure did love Shrinky Dinks when I was a kid, and now they're back! I forced one of my Craft Agents to find me some Shrinky Dinks because I can't find them anywhere. She came through in a big way, delivering packages of bright white, transparent, something called "fuzzy," and inkjet printer versions of Shrinky Dinks. Last night I eagerly dug out my G.B.H cds and pored through the liner notes looking for things to trace. I chose the giant black and white logo from "City Baby Attacked By Rats" (minus "CHARGED") and the rad little skulls from "Midnight Madness and Beyond...." I traced the pictures with sharpies, trimmed them out with a paper cutter, punched holes with a regular hole punch, and shrank them up. I attached all the bits with jump rings, harvested a clasp from some old jewelry I have lying around, and came up with this:That's pretty much the punkest Shrinky Dink bracelet ever.

According to the directions, you're supposed to coat it with spray varnish when you're done. What the directions don't tell you is that when you do your 'Dinks will bleed. Behold the bleeding on the G.B.H in the bottom photo. Perhaps I sprayed too heavily, or perhaps the people at Shrinky Dinks, Inc. are a pack of liars. Whatever the case, it's still pretty rad. Next time I do this, which will probably be in about an hour, I will round the corners, because I have already cut both my husband and myself. Which is pretty goddamned punk rock.

That's it for now. Sorry about how long it takes this blog to load, but I can't think of a way for you to appreciate my crafting genius without photos. One day perhaps, but not today.