Now I've Discovered Juicing

Because I didn't have enough shit to do already.

Yeah so I've been watching a lot of netflix documentary/expose type deals lately, such as "Fed Up" which I highly recommend, and "Fat Sick and Nearly Dead" along with the sequel. And then I bought this:

And this:

And now my kitchen looks like this:

basically all the time. I renamed that one Luminol Juice, as any fan of Forensic Files will be familiar with "...and the Luminol revealed a GRISLY SCENE." Did you hear his voice in your head just then? I did!

That's a really good recipe book. The author is literally a Norwegian model, and I was all "YES PLEASE TELL ME MORE ABOUT HOW JUICING CAN MAKE ME A 6 FOOT TALL GODDESS" which I'm sure will happen over time. But the recipes are easy to understand, easy to adapt (moooore jalapeno) and delicious.

We still had mason jars left over from candle making, so I absorbed them into my kitchen for juice storage. I spray painted the lids with black primer and chalkboard paint so that I can label them over and over again. But sometimes the full name won't fit on the lid using chalk, so I made some new names.

"'Beet' the Afternoon Slump" became "Slumpy." With "All Greens," obviously there was no way to cram that second L on the lid, so that's "Al Green" juice now. And I can almost still read "Grapefruit & Greens," so that one was okay.

The left juice was called "Winter Harvest" or something, so the decision there was obvious. The middle one was called "Seeds of Change," so that became a Scorpions tribute juice. I gave up on "Greenest..." whatever that says, but "Sunny Citrus Beets" fit okay. (Look at the other food trying to stay relevant. "Pick me, pick me!" That's so cute.) Today's juices:

There's no way I'm writing "Green Kiss" on a jar and bringing it to work. The rust colored juice was a recipe I found online somewhere called "Thyroid Friendly Tomato Juice" or something. (It also needed jalapeno.)

Some of the recipes require the juicer, and some use the blender. I go back and forth between both. But all of this was just too much for our poor old blender.

That dinosaur had to be put out to pasture. RIP little buddy!

BEHOLD: THE NINJA

GO NINJA GO NINJA GO! GO NINJA GO NINJA GO!

This thing is a beast! And the delightful skidmark down the side of the pitcher is raw honey, in case you were wondering. Raw honey goes in the breakfast shake and sometimes into my mouth but I try to keep that to a minimum because of the gut I'm still lugging around which will no longer be a problem once I am six feet tall.

THE JUICE IS LOOSE.