HOLY CRAP, IT'S BEEN ALMOST A YEAR.

I considered waiting two more months to make it official. But the photos were piling up and my phone was getting too heavy to lift, so action had to be taken!

Don't worry, I have been very busy since the Farty Party. Thank you to everyone that came out! Especially because it was SWELTERING.

So...how have you been? Is the family good? Awesome. Well, my boss went AWOL somewhere around September, so my job, which up until then had offered plenty of time to update this page, suddenly Got Real. Goodbye free time, hello boss's job without boss's pay! Hooray!!

But I haven't stopped making Shart (TM my brother, Beef Swellington), so I created a photo album called "Craftenstein Storage" so if I ever managed to get back over here I would know what hadn't been posted yet. Maybe, if I did it right. Here's what's banging around in that album:

Those are Madonna lyrics. I woke up one morning thinking about how dumb Madonna looks in that grill she keeps wearing, and also thinking about clowns. So this series was inevitable. Here's the rest:

It kind of works, right? That's what Beef and I thought, too. These are acrylic paint and Sharpie on letramax board.

I'm gonna put just one more thing in here, because otherwise this post will be ridiculously long. So for the annual Cookie Swap I made "GOOP-Approved Butter Jam Cookies," as if GOOP has ever eaten butter or jam or cookies, but whatever, they are delish. And presentation is everything:

I will never regret buying that laminator. And I made a whole pile of heads, so of course I stuck them in all of my food forever until I ran out.

Pretty sure we had cheese and pita chips that night just for the thrill of sticking GOOP heads into it.

I'm cutting this post off. I have such sights to show you....