Friday, August 1, 2014

N.U.T.S.A.C. Field Report

Still putting the new Shartwork up over here: drcraftenstein.com, but the very shartiest I save for you, dear reader.

Couple of promotions to announce - Former N.U.T.S.A.C. "Rookie of the Year" Chili Bowl has proven himself truly worthy of the title "Agent." Congratulations, Chili Bowl! In recognition of his diligent assclownery efforts, we presented him with this handsome plaque:

In addition, Agent Chili Bowl's brother Balzac is proving to be the top contender for N.U.T.S.A.C. "Rookie of the Year 2014." In addition to fully immersing himself in any and every N.U.T.S.A.C. mission, Balzac stays focused in his off hours, bringing assclownery, piracy, and church burnings to the good citizens of Minecraft. (Also he was super cool about me covering his room with Justin Bieber duct tape.)

To officially mark Balzac's acceptance into N.U.T.S.A.C.'s Elite Rookie Program, we were pleased to present him with this handsome plaque:

Special thanks to Friend of N.U.T.S.A.C. Brunofsky for the sweet ass alien:

You are truly doing the lord's work.

And finally, I found this beautiful lady at the new Goodwill that just opened near my house. The organization embraced her immediately. Behold, N.U.T.S.A.C. Nana!

A classy dame deserves a classy frame, so I sanded down a black one and repainted it white, failed to take a photo of that, and now her comforting cottony head guards over my studio. Hooray for Nana!!

FYI: I have taped those letters into a permanent stencil. Consider yourselves warned.

***END OF REPORT***