Jewelry with a Message

I've had these letter beads forever, and I decided to put them to use.

First up, a tribute to the sadist that is nearest and dearest to my heart -- Pinhead!

If I could have fit "IT'S A WASTE OF GOOD SUFFERING" I would have, but that's a pretty long bracelet. The second one is my favorite line from the movie "Point Break," again paraphrased for length. The full line goes something like "Oh yeah, Pappas? Oh yeah? Well, why don't you astonish me, Shitface!?!" So touching. Brings a tear to my eye every time I hear it.

Next up is a quote from one of my personal heroes, Emperor Palpatine:

This touches me so deeply that I made an extra for myself. Such an inspiration.

These bracelets have magnetic clasps, and others have the toggle type. But none have that screw clasp because SCREW THAT! Amirite?? *rimshot* That junk is too hard to do one-handed, so it can kiss my ass.

I don't remember where I got this quote. Maybe someone can tell me? But I connected with it immediately and made a note of it:

If you work in a cubicle, you know what I'm talking about.

For the more discriminating cinephile, I offer the following two items:

Again, I wish I could have done "WELCOME TO ANARCHY 99," but these sets don't have numbers so I had to spell it out, thus making it way too long. Bummer. Also a bummer, the shameful number of times I have watched "XXX". Also a bummer, the fact that I own it on DVD. Also a bummer, the fact that I'm singing "Feuer Frei" in my head right now and thinking about watching that garbage again. Marton Csokas, your Eurotrash cheese completes me.

ANYWAY, back to this -- I know it's the poor carpenter that blames his tools, but while I'm complaining about my tools, this Hello Kitty set is cashed. I used very creative spelling to cobble this together:

Also I ran out of Ts, so "butt" only gets one. And for some reason the flip side of that T is printed upside down, unintentionally giving it a whole other Satanic dimension.

I took a gander at what remains of the silver square beads and for some reason I had a pile of Os and Is, so I made this very small one:

If you remember what that is, Congratulations! You are old. :(

This would fit the wrist of a small child that never knew the terror and night sweats brought on by vigilant Noid Avoiding. How I envy them their innocence...

Pinhead is such a wordsmith, no? I could quote him all day if I weren't dangerously close to running out of vowels.

And last but not least, do you need a gift for that special someone? Look no further:

The husband didn't know where that quote was from, so I'll give you a hint, that way you don't have to google "sucks cocks" again at work:

"GO ON. GOOGLE COCKS. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. HAIL SATAN!"

These lovely items vary in length depending on the quote. And they will all be for sale at the Farty Arty Party in a week! Come on down and get a hot dog!