Sweaters

Boy, have I made a lot of sweaters! I didn't realize it until I started photographing them. I should mention that I'm allergic to wool, which is why acrylic is my jam.

Let's start with the Ugliest Sweater Ever:
Pattern: Interweave Knits Spring 2004, p. 92 "Striped Angora Raglan"
Yarn: Various leftover acrylic, including the itchiest gray yarn-that-isn't-wool EVER INVENTED.

I deliberately chose yarn that would not work together in order to concoct the ugliest sweater of all time. Amazingly, you would not believe the amount of compliments I have received on it. HA! I guess there really is no accounting for taste.

The sweater is knit completely in the round, from the bottom up. When you reach the sleeve area, you cast off a few stitches under each armpit, then work the sleeves in the round from the ribbing up. The sleeves are attached at the beginning and end of the cast-off point, and the sweater is worked in the round from that point up, decreasing where the raglan lines appear. Then you sew up the underarms. It's the easiest sweater pattern I've ever used, however you must have the waist measurement perfect before you start because there is no adjusting once you've started.

I went a little bigger with the following two sweaters, skipped the stripes, and embroidered a design on the front:

Supa Fly

Object That Shall Not Be Named

I won't tell you what this is supposed to be because I love to hear the guesses. I thought it was obvious until people started coming up to me and asking, "What the hell is that??" My two favorite guesses are Baked Alaska and "that thing the elephants in the circus stand on." Also, on these two the yarn is most likely Caron "Pound of Love" acrylic because it's totally cheap.

Pattern: Vogue Knitting Winter 2003/04, p. 77 "All About Ease"
Yarn: TLC Amore, color Celery

I loved the star button so I improvised a massive buttonhole in order to accommodate it. Not a very attractive buttonhole end product, but it works, the sweater's warm, and it's perfect for wearing around the house. I still haven't figured out how to wear that neckline, as you can tell. I love TLC Amore even though it can get a little splitty when you're trying to work with it. It's sturdy and cheap. Did I mention I'm cheap? When you knit as much as I do, you can't be a yarn snob very often.

Pattern: Vogue Knitting Spring/Summer 2004, p. 78 "Jacket Required"
Yarn: TLC Amore, color Raspberry

My first hood and my first zipper. I wear this one all the time, too. Also, it's not as misshapen as these photos would lead you to believe.

Pattern: Family Circle Easy Knitting Spring Summer 2004, p. 29, pattern #4 "Striped Crew Neck"
Yarn: random leftover acrylic
Intarsia Skull: stolen from Glarkware girly skull "Death Wears a Cute Bow"

The husband said, "I know you're not bringing 12 balls of yarn on vacation to Denver." I said, "Shut up."

Pattern: generated from software during a "knit-along." Don't ask about the knit-along.
Yarn: I can't remember, I can't find the label, but if I figure it out I'll get back to you. I am sure that it's 100% acrylic. Oh, and I loved working with it. It's really soft.

The pattern-generating software was supposed to design a perfect fit based on your measurements. It didn't. I included this sweater because I used "The Sweater Workshop" by Jacqueline Fee to add pockets, and though I should have made them a bit bigger, I was very pleased with the result. I also used some really nifty German coin buttons that I found at Hobby Lobby. And I really like that green. But the sleeves are too long and the whole thing is generally too big.

Pattern: Family Circle Easy Knitting Spring/Summer 2005, p. 62, pattern #29 "Relaxed Pullover"
Yarn: Lion Cotton Ease (50/50 Acrylic/Cotton), color Bubblegum; leftover green acrylic

I need to be better about taking "before" photos when I alter something, because this sweater had three stages. The pattern was wonky, so the long ballerina sleeves were inches too long and belled out in a ridiculous fashion, and I hated the wide neckline. I decided to shorten the sleeves to 3/4 length and add ribbing to them and also to the neckline. At that point the sleeves turned into puffy clown sleeves which were quite unflattering, and I hated them. So I ripped them out again and made them shorter. I then decided to duplicate stitch the robot's head from this Old Navy notebook cover:

And there you have it.

The next item is not exactly a sweater, and something I should also have taken a before picture of. It was a regular old Russell Athletic hoodie, but I never liked the way it fit. The sleeves were too tight, the neck was too tight, and I think I bought it because I was cold and it was on the sale rack. (There is a down side to being cheap.)

I recently saw a photo of some fashion model wearing a short-sleeved sweatshirt and was intrigued, so I decided to chop mine up since it couldn't get any worse. I cut the sleeves off, removed the waistband, and used the waistband to make new sleeve cuffs. I also notched out the neck to fit my big mushroom head better. I resewed the bottom of the pocket closed, as the waistband had been holding it together, sewed the sides of the new neckline to keep it from fraying, and painted an octopus on the front with acrylic paint.

Octopus close up:

I turn it inside out when I wash it, and it seems to be holding up okay.